Vulnerable

So here I am, once again before 6am

Hoping to god if I show some effort it might change who I am

But it’s not as easy as you think when others don’t give a damn

Learning to let it go as if I wasn’t made to associate with man

Remembering the dreams I had as a child to grow up in a band

But all I want now is a peace for myself, and a piece of land

 

It wasn’t long ago when I was in the middle of nowhere

Wanting more than anything to be in the city with some time to spare

But the dream wasn’t what I thought and now it seems that life ain’t fair

So I shut my eyes and silence the loudness of the moment to become aware

So take me there, bring me where the silence and the moment tare

To a place where the harshness of the moment doesn’t leave me dry and bare

 

Always so hard on myself for not being where I thought I’d be

When really I should be thankful for not being who I used to see

But I guess it’s just me, the depressed little girl I’d used to bleed

Common Holly, aren’t you grateful, aren’t you faithful, for the life you leave?

I gotta remind myself of all the places that have brought me to this me

All the roads that divide and lead to make my patience heed, to make me succeed

 

And even though I don’t know what the road ahead will bring

I’ve gotta believe no matter what it brings I’ll continue on and sing

And that this phone in my hand will play your voice after this ring

You get so lonely when you walk on your own, I just wanna feel something

Or hear a voice of encouragement to keep your hope from up and running.

But I always end up putting in too much and ending up in a sling.

 

God I love that I’m reminded, by the music that gives me a holy fear

The soul that lives inside of me wants nothing more than to revere

The divine science of god’s gift to all of us lost among this planet here

We’re so lost in the greed that we forget what it’s like to be sincere

But the more open and honest we feel we can have beauty bring us near

 

As much as I hate to admit it, it’s easier to let the ego make you feel

But when you break it down at the core there are the things you really need to heal

And in the depths of the soul there are the things that are truly real

Like love, and faith, and god, and hate, you need to admit they all exist to make the deal point blank

Now all I want is a light at the end of the tunnel, but when I finally got it I had to keep my eyes shield, how fake.

-Holly Brown Bear

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